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December 03, 2004
Never Shake or Drop a Baby
As I recall things in the past that I shouldn't have done, but still take some pleasure from them; One particular incident comes to mind.
It was perhaps about 7 days after our 2nd daughter was born. Dear sweet Auralia. Now for all those non-parents out there, you should understand that most every mother is, well, extremely attached to their new babies. How they develop this bond is unknown, but it could, perhaps, have something to do with sharing nutrients for 9 months (hmm, bonding through food... sounds familiar, I oughtta do a Biblical study on that).
Anyway, Gretchen, in particular, was extremely attached to Auralia in particular.
So, the setting: a dark and stormy night. Auralia has been crying and won't go to sleep, even though her mother is comforting her as well as possible. Mother is getting tired and wants a tiny break, since nothing seems to be calming the wee one down.
Enter father, still young and, perhaps, just a wee bit mischievous.
Well, father promptly calms Auralia down, gets her to sleep, and puts her in her cradle. So far, so good. Mom is in the other room, and will return in a moment.
Now, I don't know if you had sibilings growing up, or what types of college experiences you might have had, but in my home, and my hall, people had a habit of attempting to scare you. Whether they'd wait behind a door, hide in a closet; the point was to get your adrenaline pumping and cause you a quick shock.
So now, Dad(me) gets a great idea. Mom doesn't know I've put the baby down, could probably scarely believe I could even get her calmed down.
The Materials: The wee one's blanket and something that resembles a small body. Blanket:Check. Doll:Check.
Thus, when Mom returned, I was holding a blanket-wrapped doll.
I turned to her and gave her the bundle, but pulled up just a little short.
It took a microfraction of a second for the bundle to fall to the ground.
---
My wife didn't leave me with any permanent physical scars. And I'm unsure about the emotional ones.
And here we have it cognitive dissonance: Finding something funny that I shouldn't find funny, but still do.
Posted by oriondark at December 3, 2004 02:03 PM
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Comments
wow, same ol' frederick. it's really quite funny, though, that you would do that to your loving wife! -- isn't she bored of that kind of thing yet? tell gretchen i said hi, okay?...
Posted by: becki at December 9, 2004 01:55 PM